Enjoying a Healthy Life

Hi!  I know it’s been awhile since I have updated my blog.  The one year anniversary of my final chemo appt passed a little over a month ago (June 28^th) and I just had my biyearly check up with my oncologist so I thought it would be a good time to update my blog.  Many friends and family ask me how I am doing, feeling, dealing with hormone suppression therapy, etc….  So here goes…

Shawn & Kyle at Kyle's 18th birthday celebration

Happy Father's Day!

The first half of 2012 has been great!  Besides the daily hot flashes and occasional night sweats, I feel pretty good.  Shawn likes to tease me when we watch TV. at night because one minute I have the blanket on and the next minute the blanket is off and then five minutes later I am cold again so the blanket is back on until the next hot flash….  I do find myself tiring out easier than before so I just make a point to get to bed as early as possible – it’s a bummer at times to wear out sooner than I want but hey God was so good to heal me and I am just happy to be alive.  Going through menopause at the age of 36 isn’t my first choice of things to experience in life but it’s definitely a walk in the park compared to going through chemo.  I have also tried to simplify my life as much as possible.  Stress is one of the major triggers of cancer so I am learning to prioritize my time and schedule (i.e. learning to say no which is so hard for us women to do J) and know my limitations.  Slowing down some, relaxing more has been great – enjoying that time with my family and friends.

Me and the girls during a hike near Lake Mead

Waiting the see the movie Brave at the Red Rock Resort in Las Vegas

Me and my honey

In January we changed insurance companies to Kaiser so I had to find another oncologist.  Luckily the major stuff was done and now I just needed to find an oncologist for the follow up appts and blood tests every six months as well as facilitating my hormone suppression therapy.  I was sad because I really enjoyed Dr. Subramanian – she was an incredible doctor who I trusted and respected deeply.  God was so good to lead me to another incredible oncologist Dr. Cheng with Kaiser.  I had my first appt with him in January and I was very impressed with him.  He was very calming, easy to talk to and very knowledgeable in the field.  The only thing that was a bit frustrating was that when I asked him what the protocol was in cancer recurrence screening he said to let him know if I ever have any pain in odd places or pain that does not go away as well as feeling for any lumps on my implants and underarms.  He said cysts can sometimes form in the scar tissue near my incisions and to inform him if I feel anything of the sort.  Also if I have any swelling or pain in my legs to contact him immediately because that may be a sign of blood clots which can be a side effect of the hormone suppression therapy.  Hearing that made me very uneasy and I told him that.  I told him that what if a lump forms on my chest wall under my implants that I can’t feel.  Also I told him that I didn’t want to come across as a hypochondriac and email him every time I have an ache or pain that won’t go away and how long should I wait for the pain to go away before I let him know about it.  I told him that I would really appreciate if he would do blood tests every 6 months like Dr. Subramanian had done.  I wasn’t asking for scans just blood tests to check on my cancer markers.  Dr. Cheng said yes that is fine and was glad that I felt comfortable enough with him to speak my mind.  He went on to say that he wanted an open relationship with me so we can talk about anything.  I thought that was really cool and was impressed by his sincerity.

Before I left his office that day he had put in orders for me to get blood work done every six months starting that day so I went to the lab on my way out and had most of the results in my email that day and the rest within a few days.  I was very apprehensive about changing insurance companies but have been very happy and impressed by what I have experienced so far with Kaiser.



Outside the Chapel of the Holy Cross in Sedona AZ



Outside a chocolate store in Sedona

Beautiful and stormy Sedona

In June I had the opportunity to share a bit (and sing a little) about my cancer journey.  The cancer center where I had my chemo hosted a survivor celebration night and about ten of us cancer survivors shared about our experiences.  I also sang a part of the song “I Praise You in This Storm” by the Casting Crowns which most of you know has ministered so much to me this past year.  It was such a beautiful night of sharing and listening to encouraging stories of how people fought and survived different types of cancer.  I definitely felt the presence of Jesus there – when it was my time to share and I stood up to look out I felt this powerful yet calming wave flow through the audience.  It was as if I could physically see the Lord calm and prepare those people for what I was about to share as well as what the other survivors shared many of who were clearly believers and gave praise for what the Lord had done in their cancer journeys.

The woman who was the MC for the night shared about an 84 year old woman she had met that had survived five different types of cancer and out lived 3 husbands.  Amazing and so encouraging to hear!!  I would be a liar if I told you I never worried about what would happen if my cancer came back but hearing about this woman gave me such encouragement and hope.  And most importantly when I have those times of worry I turn to God for that ultimate hope and comfort.

Visiting the Grand Canyon



We took a four hour train ride through the beautiful Verde Canyon in Arizona

Last week I had my six month check up with my oncologist.  He asked me three questions at the beginning of the appt.  Do you exercise, do you take calcium and do you take vitamin D?  I answered yes, yes and yes.  He said great you are doing all the right things.  The reason I need to take calcium and vitamin D is the Lupron injections I get every three months to block my ovaries from producing estrogen can cause osteoporosis so it’s very important to take the supplements to keep my bones healthy and strong.  Luckily I only have about a year left of the Lupron injections and then I will only have to continue to take Tamoxifen daily for another three years.  Unfortunately the side effects (osteoporosis) of the Lupron are long term thus the importance of calcium and vitamin D.  I also take magnesium to help the absorption of the calcium.  During my appt Dr. Cheng shared my blood work results – all looked good including my cancer makers – Praise God!  He said I was very healthy and taking good care of myself. J 

When I reflect back on my cancer journey and where I am today I am so thankful to my Lord Jesus Christ for carrying me through and giving me the health and life I have today.  A close friend of mine commented recently on how well I was doing, how healthy I was and that she couldn’t believe that just last year I was going through cancer treatment.  What can I say – God is good!!  I am so blessed with my amazing family and friends for all the love, support and prayers I continue to experience.  Thank you! 

Goodbye 2011 - Hello 2012!

Wow - what a year this has been!  I think back to this time last year and I would have never in my wildest dreams expected to experience the journey I have faced this past year.  I look forward to a new year, a healthy year, a cancer free year.

I had my last and final surgery (woo hoo!!) on November 30^th which was reconstruction.  Once again God was so faithful to bring me through it with no complications and a quick and smooth recovery.  Reconstruction surgery involved my surgeon Dr. Camberos taking out the tissue expanders (so happy to get those suckers out!) and inserting silicone implants.  I am really happy with the results and the incisions are very clean.  I was impressed on how Dr. Camberos reopened the incisions from my double mastectomy, took out the expanders, inserted the implants and “sewed” me back together while keeping such clean straight incisions.  It’s so wonderful to feel and look like a woman again. 

I had the privilege to share my story at my women’s bible study in front of over 300 women on November 29^th.  I was extremely nervous but so honored and happy to be able to encourage others through my story while sharing how the Lord worked throughout my journey, what He had taught me as well as shown me this past year.  I ended my story with a slideshow of pictures taken this past year.  The song I chose to play during the slideshow is a song that has ministered greatly to me this year - Praise You in This Storm by the Casting Crowns.  Please check it out below.

I have been so blessed to have had such an incredible medical team of doctors, nurses and surgeons treat me, “fix” me, guide me and take care of me.  Unfortunately I had to say goodbye to them because we are changing insurance to Kaiser (we had Blue Cross) beginning Jan 1^st.  Fortunately I have had all my major treatments and surgeries and will continue my hormone therapy and blood tests/scans with a new oncologist.  Please pray that the Lord will direct me to right oncologist.

My hair continues to grow little by little.  It hasn’t grown in curly as I was told it could but it definitely is wavy and I have a little ‘fro going on.  Shawn told me last tonight that I look like Olivia Newton John in the early 80s.  We checked out her music video for “Let’s Get Physical” and yes there is a resemblance there – he definitely earned hubby points for that compliment. J  Karyssa looked at my hair the other day and said “Mommy I forgot how you looked bald”.  I replied saying “That’s okay because I forgot too”. J

As this year comes to an end, I rejoice in how the Lord has carried me through one difficult and unexpected  year.  It has been a year of great challenge for me as well as one full of joy and blessings.  And that is where you all come in – you have all brought me such joy and blessings with your friendship, encouragement, prayers and support.  I can’t thank you enough for how much that all meant and continues to mean to me.  I am also thankful to my personal savior Jesus Christ for being by my side (holding me in His arms at times) as I journeyed through this year.  He continually revealed His awesome power and strength in how He brought me through chemo, healed me quickly from three successful surgeries and ultimately cured me from the cancer.   I know without a shadow of a doubt He will be there by my side whatever the future may bring.

I hope you all have a wonderful and blessed 2012!!

With Love,

Kelly~

The Adventures in Pink Continue...

I can’t believe it has been over a month since I updated my blog last – where has the time gone! I thank God daily for my health and the energy to live life and enjoy being with my family and friends.

I started hormone therapy at the end of September, the 29^th to be exact and it definitely has been an experience.  I don’t mind the Tamoxifen which is the daily pill I take that blocks my estrogen but it’s the monthly Zoldadex injections (stops my ovaries from producing estrogen and is causing me to go into menopause) that I could surely do without!  When I went in for my first Zoladex injection and was told by my nurse Kris that she would be numbing my stomach so she could inject the Zoladex pellet (yes pellet!) I knew I was in for trouble.  The whole experience was pretty difficult and emotional due to the fact that I didn’t know what to expect, not knowing how I would respond to the possible side effects, and that I would be pushed back into menopause which I had already experienced during my chemo treatments (and I was not missing the night sweats and hot flashes one bit!).  I had to fight back tears as she sprayed my stomach with lidocaine which stung but I knew was necessary to numb the area and it was just a quick stab and a little more stinging as she injected the Zoladex.  It was over quickly and I thought “first injection down 23 to go” (24 injections in total since I get these injections every month for two years).  Hey whatever it takes to get me through this – right? J

The few days following my first injection were tough. I was very emotional, tired, irritable, cried easily, became upset with my girls more frequently and felt sad and depressed which unfortunately are side effects of hormone therapy.  I did not like it one bit!  I asked God if this was really worth going through.  I didn’t want to put my family through this – having them to deal with me feeling and acting so crummy.   I had been informed as well as read that hormone therapy helps only 2 to 5 percent in preventing the cancer from returning.  I thought if I continue to feel this way for the next two years I may rethink this whole hormone therapy thing.  It’s just not worth it!  I felt better as the week progressed and just made sure that I got my rest, exercised and drank a lot of water.  I was talking with a friend a few weeks later and she shared with me about a woman she knew who had gone through breast cancer treatment but opted out of doing the hormone therapy and five years later her cancer returned as stage 4.  God was so faithful to show me and reassure me that continuing with the hormone therapy was the right thing to do. 

I had my second Zoladex injection on Oct 28^th and it went much better.  I knew what to expect walking into the cancer center and the side effects weren’t as extreme this time.  Woo Hoo!!  2 down 22 to go!  I still experience the hot flashes and night sweats but I will take those over the other side effects any day.  I pray that the side effects will continue to be minimal – maybe my body just needs to get used to the Zoladex and the side effects will continue to minimize as the months go by.

My reconstructive surgery is scheduled for Wednesday November 30^th – yeah!!  I can’t wait to say goodbye to the not so little and the not so comfy tissue expanders that have taken up temporary residence in my body these past few months.  The surgery is outpatient at Tri City Hospital and will take about 3 hours with a recovery period of about two weeks.  This surgery should be a walk in the park compared to what I have gone through this past year with chemo treatments and two previous surgeries but please pray that the surgery will go smoothly and that I will heal quickly without complications or infection.

The day before reconstructive surgery on Tuesday November 29^th I will be sharing my faith story at my women’s bible study at church to a little over 300 women. I am both very nervous and excited to share how the Lord has worked in my life this past year and what He has taught and shown me.  What a perfect opportunity to give God the glory for all I have experienced this year and for ultimately being cancer free!!

Thank you for all your continual prayers, support and encouragement. I appreciate it all so much! 

I want to leave you all with a verse that just recently encouraged me and hope it will do the same for you: Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing."

I also leave you all with this very touching and inspirational video.  Get some tissues ready...

Much Love,

Kelly~

I Finally Did It!!

I finally took the plunge and am wig free – and boy does it feel wonderful and so incredibly freeing!!  I decided to try out my new look at my support group a few weeks back.  Everyone was extremely sweet and encouraging commenting on how I looked which just sealed the deal on my decision to 86 those suckers.  It's been interesting seeing my natural hair color since its been “hiding” for the last 11 years and I am not liking what I see.  My hair looks a bit gray since the shade of blonde is no longer a golden blonde but an ash blonde.  Oh well, nothing that a box of color or a trip to the hair salon can’t change.  I am enjoying the fact that my hair is the healthiest (and softest) it has been in a long time.  I am sure some day I will start coloring my hair again.  




First day of school

 

It's been fun and entertaining hearing comments said by my girls and conversations I have had with others now that I am sporting my new ultra short hair do.  I have talked to a couple people at the grocery store and gym who have commented on my hairdo saying its really cute.  When I have responded with a thanks and that it wasn’t my choice that led the conversation to me telling them why and them sharing with me that they had a family member with cancer who fought it and are doing well.  So it's been fun talking with these people and encouraging hearing their stories. 

At Zoomars Petting Zoo

My girls’ comments have been nothing short of hilarious.  Samantha the other night was “petting” my hair and said “Mommy your hair feels like a puppy, a gray puppy”.   Last week one morning on the way to school we were talking about money and how the way to make money is to have a job and so on.  Karyssa then proceeds to ask me, “Mommy how do you get money since you are bald and no longer working?”  She also said last week before I was to volunteer in her class at school, “Mommy I don’t want people to laugh at you”.  I told her that no one was going to laugh at me and if they did that was their problem.  I told her what was most important is that I am healthy now, Jesus is so good to have healed me and my hair is now growing back.  And you know what, no one laughed at me. I may have had more stares than normal but I heard no snickering.  Yesterday she actually referred to me as having short hair and not bald anymore.



About to go on challenge course at Mother Daughter retreat



I have been seeing Dr. Camberos  my plastic surgeon on a weekly basis since late August for him to fill my tissue expanders in preparation for reconstructive surgery.  He says I am healing nicely and can’t believe how well (and quickly) I am healing.  Also I have had no infections which can easily happen with tissue expanders.  Praise Jesus!  However,  I am definitely over these expanders.  After every fill appt. my chest aches and feels bruised.  The feeling is similar to having your braces tightened and the stiff, achy feeling you have after.  The expanders are not very comfortable (pushing down on and bruising my ribcage) and it’s uncomfortable to lay flat on my back.  Most of the time I have to sleep downstairs on our recliner to be some what comfortable.  Also I am becoming a bit top heavy and it’s getting more difficult to hide my temporary large twins since they are not very natural looking.  Luckily I only have one more this week and then I should have my reconstructive surgery about six weeks later.  Dr. Camberos told me the reason he is stretching my skin and expanding me as much as he is is to be sure he has enough skin to work with during reconstruction.  He said that my skin could ripple or wrinkle and even constrict back if there is not enough to work with.

With Grandma at the Mother Daughter retreat

I start hormone therapy this week which I am in no hurry to begin.  I was to start it earlier this month but there was a hold up with my insurance authorizing the Zoladex shot which I have been told is very expensive.  I am not looking forward to going into menopause again but hey its only for two years.  Since my cancer was “feeding” off my hormones, starting this week I will be taking Tamoxifen daily which blocks my estrogen and progesterone and getting a monthly shot of Zoladex which stops my ovaries from producing estrogen. 

Watching the Padres play

It feels great to get back to life as normal.  I have been busy volunteering at my girls’ school, shuttling the girls to their soccer practices and games, Awana club meetings, play dates, birthday parties, helping with homework, Dr. appts, running errands, working out, attempting to keep the house clean, attending my weekly bible study, spending time with family and friends, and so on – you know LIFE!  As I have said before, I am busier now as a stay-at-home mom than I was working full time and I LOVE it – such a blessing and gift!!  I praise Jesus that I am healthy and cancer free so I am able to be there for my incredible husband and precious girls and be the best wife and mother I can be and that they deserve.  

Waiting to watch Switchfoot perform

Jesus is SO faithful in healing me and I know without a shadow of a doubt that He will be by my side no matter what happens.  I would be lying if I told you that I never worry about the cancer coming back or worse yet coming back with a vengeance.  I am one blessed pink lady to have a Heavenly Father that I can go to during those times to cry out my fears and worries.  He loves and cares for me so much to take those fears from me and replace them with ultimate peace and assurance.   After spending time in God’s word and crying out to Him I find myself joyous knowing full well that I am not alone in my journey and not only I but my sweet husband and girls will be taken care of no matter what.  I have found hope, peace and encouragement in these two verses and pray they will do the same for you:  “When I am afraid I will trust in You.  In God whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.” Psalm 56: 3 & 4a.  “Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  Joshua 1:9.

Your prayers and support are such a blessing to me and mean so much – thank you!!!!!!

Sweet Blessings,

Kelly

And Then There Were Two!!

I saw Dr Camberos my plastic surgeon on Tuesday and the appt went really well.  My lovely mom went with me and we were able to enjoy a yummy lunch together before the appt.  We all had a laugh when Dr. Camberos first came in the room because he didn’t’ recognize me when I said hello to him in the hallway walking down to the room.  He was wondering why this gal he didn’t  know and hadn’t met with before was so friendly saying hi to him.  We laughed because the first time he met with me I had a different wig on and a hat.  The second time he saw me was in the operating room when I had on the oh so adorable cap they put on you before surgery (it resembles a shower cap).  So I totally threw him off with my different wig without a hat. J  I joked with him that next time I will come in with a completely different wig or maybe no wig at all! J

He took out two of the four surgical drains (hallelujah!!) and will take out the other two most likely at my next appt which is scheduled for this coming Tues the 30^th.  He said he put in four to be sure I would drain well and to avoid a possible infection or build up – makes sense!  I was just so happy to have two removed and boy does it hurt when they are removed but so worth the momentary pain to get those suckers out.  I had gone earlier that day to get the pathology report at the hospital and was so pleased to read that there was no cancer found in the right breast tissue – chemo did its job!!  Praise the Lord!!  I was expecting that news but it is certainly reassuring to see it on paper.

Dr Camberos took off all my bandages and said I was healing nicely.  To be completely honest, it was very difficult to see my chest like that.  I had to fight back tears in the room because I was so overcome with emotion when I saw what was under those bandages.  I know in time my chest will look better once the swelling goes down, the scars fade, he continues to fill my tissue expanders and eventually puts in the implants but it definitely shocked me to see myself looking like that – almost in a deformed manner.  I was so happy and anxious to cover up again with new bandages.  My incredibly sweet and encouraging husband told me yesterday that I was a like a caterpillar metamorphosing into a beautiful butterfly.  It made me cry to hear that – it was so comforting and loving to hear those tender words!  I love you Babe!

Yesterday I went to see Dr. Subramanian my oncologist and had a great appt with her.  My next stage of treatment is hormone therapy which I will begin in two weeks.  Hormone therapy involves me getting a monthly injection of Zoladex for two years which will stop my ovaries from producing estrogen and progesterone (my breast cancer was considered estrogen and progesterone positive – which means it was basically feeding off my hormones) which in turn will cause me to go into early menopause.  I will also be taking a daily pill called Tamoxifen for five years which blocks my estrogen and helps prevent the breast cancer from recurring.  Even though I have had a bilateral mastectomy, the cancer can still come back in another part of my body.  It would still be considered breast cancer since that is where the cancer initially was found.  Let’s pray that won’t happen – which I am sure it won’t!  Go Pink!!

I was initially concerned about the side effects of hormone therapy but my oncologist said the more severe ones such as uterine cancer, heart disease, blood clots, and stroke are usually a concern for women over 60 who are post menopausal.  The most I will have to deal with will be menopausal side effects such as night sweats and hot flashes and possible bone/muscle pain.  I will need to take calcium supplements and vitamin D to maintain healthy bones.  I left the appt feeling much more comfortable about going through hormone therapy. 

Dr. Subramanian said since I had the bilateral mastectomy I won’t need mammograms or MRIs in the future.  My blood will be checked every three months for cancer markers and if they are high then I would go in for a scan.  Since they did all those scans early in my treatment I won’t need another scan unless the markers are high.  She said to report any pains in my head or back or elsewhere that are unusual or persistent. 

While I was waiting to see Dr. Subramanian I was talking with her super sweet medical assistant who was commenting on my ring back tone “I Praise You in This Storm” by the Casting Crowns and how she played it for her brother.  They both really liked it.  She told me she really wanted to get back into church.  I asked her if she used to go and she said yes – she was raised Catholic.  She said she had her first three kids baptized but will have her younger three make that decision when they are older and understand what it is all about (yes she has 6 kids, she’s 36 and looks great!).  I told her about North Coast and if she was interested we would meet her there one Sunday so we could sit together.  She seemed really interested and said she would check it out, so we shall see….  J  I was so stoked after our chat because one of my biggest prayers going through this journey is to glorify God and be a witness to others. 

Overall I feel great!  The pain is pretty much gone and the range of motion in my arm improves each day.  Once I get the last two surgical drains removed I will feel so much more comfortable.  I still feel pressure on my ribcage and chest wall from the expanders (its like I have a rubber band around my chest – not too tight though just a bit annoying) and my skin is still numb around where I had my surgery but in time that will diminish.  I have all my eyelashes back (if only my upper lashes were a bit longer!) and my eyebrows are almost completely grown in (I have never been so happy to pluckJ).  My hair continues to grow but I am still not comfortable going out with my super short hair – my sweet and encouraging friends and one of the nurses in the hospital said I look great without my wig.  Maybe I will give it another month and see.  If I wait a couple months, maybe I can “reveal” my new look on Halloween! J

I continue to relish how faithful God has been in healing me – it just shows you the power of prayer and how much He cares for and loves His children!  Thank you all for everything!!!  I am one blessed pink lady!!

Lots of Love,

Kelly

Back Home and On the Way to Recovery

I am back home after surgery and it feels wonderful!  Don’t get me wrong I was in good hands at the hospital (nurses were great and the food wasn’t half bad) but nothing beats the comfort and familiarity of your own home as well as being able to take a shower (thank God for waterproof bandages).  I have been home since Thursday night around 7p and have been taking it real easy resting.  Me being the busy body I am, I am already getting bored and antsy so these next couple weeks are going to be long ones.

My surgery went well – it was shorter than expected, four hours instead of five.  There was no cancer found on the left side.  Praise Jesus!!  My surgeon took out three nodes under my left arm and all three were negative.  We are still waiting on pathology for my right side – the side I originally had cancer.  I should get the results on Thursday when I meet with my oncologist.  I could go to the hospital and request a copy of the report which I just may do in the next few days.  I am not too worried because I am sure the chemo took care of the cancer and the breast tissue has been removed from my body.  However it will be reassuring knowing I didn’t go through chemo for nothing. 

The tissue expanders were put in because unfortunately there wasn’t enough skin left over after performing the mastectomy.  I was disappointed at first but am glad my surgeons made the safe and healthy decision.  My next surgery will be strictly reconstruction involving my plastic surgeon taking out the expanders and putting in the implants.  It is a less invasive surgery and it is outpatient.  I have a follow up appt with him on Tuesday so I will get a better idea of when I can expect to have that surgery.

I am pretty sore which is to be expected but overall I am doing well.  The pain is tolerable which I take extra strength Tylenol to help ease.  I think the worst part is I have not two but four surgical drainage devices (Jackson Pratt is the medical term) attached to my body (and they are not small).  I had one with my last surgery so I was expecting two this time since they had operated on both sides so I was quite surprised (and not happily) when I saw four attached to me.  I am not sure why Dr. Camberos attached four to me – I am anxious to ask him when I see him Tuesday.  I will spare you the unpleasant details of what these devices do and what I have to do to maintain them, I am sure you get the point by what they are. J  Usually you have to wear these devices for approx two weeks so my optimistic side is thinking “Well I have four instead of two so maybe I only have to wear them for a week instead of two weeks”  I may be dreaming – we shall see……  The challenging part is trying to hide these under my clothes.  Hiding one or even two under baggy clothes isn’t too hard but trying to hide four is impossible.  I look like I put on a few pounds and have a lumpy stomach. J

Thank you for all your love, prayer, support, words of encouragement, sweet cards and beautiful flowers.  I am so blessed to have such amazing family and friends who uplift me and encourage me the way you all do.  It makes this difficult journey that much easier.  I am getting teary eyed as I type this reflecting of how blessed I truly am.  God has been so faithful in answering your prayers as well as mine and I know He will continue to heal me and take care of me.  I thank Him daily for being my healer, protector and shelter from this storm I am in.  I do have my times of sadness, frustration, and impatience but in those times I turn to my Jesus for strength, courage and hope to help me endure this journey.

Love and Blessings,

 Kelly~

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, His my refuge and my fortress, My God in whom I trust”

Psalm 91:1 & 2

Well tomorrow is the big day and I am beyond ready.  Since I can’t eat breakfast or drink coffee in the morning, my sweet hubby took me to Denny’s tonight so I could have breakfast for dinner and have my cup of joe (thus the reason I am still up at this hour – I can just sleep tomorrowJ).  Luckily we have to be at the hospital at 5:30 (did I say luckily??) and surgery is at 7:30 so I won’t have to go too long wishing I had my morning cup of coffee. 

The girls in the pool at the timeshare we stayed at in Vegas

Me and my big girl at the bowling alley

As I have shared with some friends and family, I am anxious to have the surgery but am also anxious to get it done (if that makes any sense).  Looking back I am so glad I did not have the surgery last month as I initially thought.  The last few weeks have been awesome – spending quality time with my girls and hubby, having fun making memories, and enjoying some R &R.  Recovering from surgery would have thrown a huge wrench in the fun we had.  We spent a week in Vegas and a week at the Harbor in Oceanside.  Good times and fun memories were made.  In Vegas we swam, visited the M & M factory, went to Gameworks, ate at the Rainforest café as well as saw a comedy/magic show with a friend and his daughter, saw a mermaid show, visited Mt. Charleston where we went hiking with some friends (it was 30 degrees cooler than Vegas – a nice change for a day), went bowling a few times and of course did a little gambling which involved Shawn playing craps with Steve and me playing slots.  We didn’t bet much and didn’t win much either, but that is okay since its more entertainment then anything with us.  The Harbor was a blast too with hanging at the beach and swimming at the pool at the condo we stayed at (thanks to my lovely in-laws).  We also celebrated Karyssa’s 6^th birthday there with family and friends – such a fun time!

At the Lodge in Mt Charleston

Waiting for the Mac King Magic Show to begin

My hair continues to grow – yeah!  It’s simply marvelous to see hair on my head again even though it’s much darker than I had anticipated.  Oh well, nothing that a box of hair color can’t change in time.  What was crazy is that I lost my eyebrows and the last of my eyelashes after I was done with chemo and they are finally growing back as well.  I couldn’t believe how fast my eyelashes grew back.  I only had to go a week without any eyelashes and now I have lashes all the way across on both lids.  My bottom lashes are much longer than my top so hopefully my top with catch up and then some.  Thinking about my hair loss and re-growth adventure I came up with some observations and thoughts on the whole ordeal:

©       Losing my hair and watching its slow re-growth makes me appreciate “bed head” which I had for the first time (in a long time) the other morning

©       I have never been so happy to see my cowlick

©       My natural hair color is revealed after “hiding” for the past 11 years

©       For the second time in my life I have non-treated, non-colored baby soft hair that I can’t stop touching (Shawn will ask me why I keep rubbing my head and I just tell him I love the way my hair feels as well as its soothing to touch it – I know I am strange)

©       Being bald you get to see the true shape of your head and mine is not pretty with a flat part in the back followed by two bumps.  Thank God my hair is long enough now to cover all that!

©       One word – sideburns

In about three weeks my mom and my girls will be heading up to Forest Home in the San Bernardino Mountains for the annual Mother Daughter retreat.  My mom and I have been going to this since I was a little girl.  What is really cool and special about this year’s retreat is that one of the speakers has been on her own personal breast cancer journey.  How awesome is that!?  Just another example of how God works in our lives and gives us little blessings for us to enjoy. 

Fun at the M & M factory

Of course we had to get a pic of the dads

Regarding the reconstructive portion of my surgery, there is a chance that Dr. Camberos my plastic surgeon may be able to do immediate reconstruction and put the implants in tomorrow at time of surgery.  If that happen then I would not have to deal with the expanders, having them filled over time and them going back for an additional surgery to have the implants put in.  It all depends on how my skin looks and if there is enough of it.  Dr. Camberos said if my skin looks healthy and there is enough skin left he will put in the implants and call it a day.  Okay not his exact words, but you know what I am saying.  Please pray that he will make the best decision tomorrow in the operating room.

Celebrating Shawn's bday at the Rainforest Cafe. 

"Happy Birthday to you!"

Prayer is powerful!  This past Friday I was not doing so hot.  I had body aches, chills, slight fever, sore throat and glands the size of golf balls.  My first thought was, “No we can NOT delay surgery.  I have to get better by the end of the weekend.  I really really want to have surgery on Wednesday”.  I asked for prayer and by the end of the weekend I was 100% better.  Thank you Jesus and to all of you that lifted me up in prayer!

Me and my fabulous hubby!!

Celebrating Karyssa's bday

I would be lying to you if I said I wasn’t nervous about tomorrow but at the same time I rest in peace in my Heavenly Father’s loving and healing arms.  Just this morning my mom sent me the below email she had received from a dear friend.  It ministered to me and encouraged me – just what I needed as I reflected on what was to come.  I see myself as one of those little birds being protected and safe under my Father’s wings. 

No idea who caught this shot, but one thing for sure they were at the right place at the right time

Reminds me of Psalm 91:4, He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

The photographer caught this special moment, what a privilege to see

If all goes well I should only have to stay in the hospital for one night.  I have confidence in Jesus that He will be in that operating room with my surgeons watching over me.  He is so faithful in taking care of me and healing me which fills me with such comfort and peace.  Your prayers and encouragement continues to bless and uplift me – thank you!!! 

Resting in Him,

Kelly