And Then There Were Two!!

I saw Dr Camberos my plastic surgeon on Tuesday and the appt went really well.  My lovely mom went with me and we were able to enjoy a yummy lunch together before the appt.  We all had a laugh when Dr. Camberos first came in the room because he didn’t’ recognize me when I said hello to him in the hallway walking down to the room.  He was wondering why this gal he didn’t  know and hadn’t met with before was so friendly saying hi to him.  We laughed because the first time he met with me I had a different wig on and a hat.  The second time he saw me was in the operating room when I had on the oh so adorable cap they put on you before surgery (it resembles a shower cap).  So I totally threw him off with my different wig without a hat. J  I joked with him that next time I will come in with a completely different wig or maybe no wig at all! J

He took out two of the four surgical drains (hallelujah!!) and will take out the other two most likely at my next appt which is scheduled for this coming Tues the 30^th.  He said he put in four to be sure I would drain well and to avoid a possible infection or build up – makes sense!  I was just so happy to have two removed and boy does it hurt when they are removed but so worth the momentary pain to get those suckers out.  I had gone earlier that day to get the pathology report at the hospital and was so pleased to read that there was no cancer found in the right breast tissue – chemo did its job!!  Praise the Lord!!  I was expecting that news but it is certainly reassuring to see it on paper.

Dr Camberos took off all my bandages and said I was healing nicely.  To be completely honest, it was very difficult to see my chest like that.  I had to fight back tears in the room because I was so overcome with emotion when I saw what was under those bandages.  I know in time my chest will look better once the swelling goes down, the scars fade, he continues to fill my tissue expanders and eventually puts in the implants but it definitely shocked me to see myself looking like that – almost in a deformed manner.  I was so happy and anxious to cover up again with new bandages.  My incredibly sweet and encouraging husband told me yesterday that I was a like a caterpillar metamorphosing into a beautiful butterfly.  It made me cry to hear that – it was so comforting and loving to hear those tender words!  I love you Babe!

Yesterday I went to see Dr. Subramanian my oncologist and had a great appt with her.  My next stage of treatment is hormone therapy which I will begin in two weeks.  Hormone therapy involves me getting a monthly injection of Zoladex for two years which will stop my ovaries from producing estrogen and progesterone (my breast cancer was considered estrogen and progesterone positive – which means it was basically feeding off my hormones) which in turn will cause me to go into early menopause.  I will also be taking a daily pill called Tamoxifen for five years which blocks my estrogen and helps prevent the breast cancer from recurring.  Even though I have had a bilateral mastectomy, the cancer can still come back in another part of my body.  It would still be considered breast cancer since that is where the cancer initially was found.  Let’s pray that won’t happen – which I am sure it won’t!  Go Pink!!

I was initially concerned about the side effects of hormone therapy but my oncologist said the more severe ones such as uterine cancer, heart disease, blood clots, and stroke are usually a concern for women over 60 who are post menopausal.  The most I will have to deal with will be menopausal side effects such as night sweats and hot flashes and possible bone/muscle pain.  I will need to take calcium supplements and vitamin D to maintain healthy bones.  I left the appt feeling much more comfortable about going through hormone therapy. 

Dr. Subramanian said since I had the bilateral mastectomy I won’t need mammograms or MRIs in the future.  My blood will be checked every three months for cancer markers and if they are high then I would go in for a scan.  Since they did all those scans early in my treatment I won’t need another scan unless the markers are high.  She said to report any pains in my head or back or elsewhere that are unusual or persistent. 

While I was waiting to see Dr. Subramanian I was talking with her super sweet medical assistant who was commenting on my ring back tone “I Praise You in This Storm” by the Casting Crowns and how she played it for her brother.  They both really liked it.  She told me she really wanted to get back into church.  I asked her if she used to go and she said yes – she was raised Catholic.  She said she had her first three kids baptized but will have her younger three make that decision when they are older and understand what it is all about (yes she has 6 kids, she’s 36 and looks great!).  I told her about North Coast and if she was interested we would meet her there one Sunday so we could sit together.  She seemed really interested and said she would check it out, so we shall see….  J  I was so stoked after our chat because one of my biggest prayers going through this journey is to glorify God and be a witness to others. 

Overall I feel great!  The pain is pretty much gone and the range of motion in my arm improves each day.  Once I get the last two surgical drains removed I will feel so much more comfortable.  I still feel pressure on my ribcage and chest wall from the expanders (its like I have a rubber band around my chest – not too tight though just a bit annoying) and my skin is still numb around where I had my surgery but in time that will diminish.  I have all my eyelashes back (if only my upper lashes were a bit longer!) and my eyebrows are almost completely grown in (I have never been so happy to pluckJ).  My hair continues to grow but I am still not comfortable going out with my super short hair – my sweet and encouraging friends and one of the nurses in the hospital said I look great without my wig.  Maybe I will give it another month and see.  If I wait a couple months, maybe I can “reveal” my new look on Halloween! J

I continue to relish how faithful God has been in healing me – it just shows you the power of prayer and how much He cares for and loves His children!  Thank you all for everything!!!  I am one blessed pink lady!!

Lots of Love,

Kelly

Back Home and On the Way to Recovery

I am back home after surgery and it feels wonderful!  Don’t get me wrong I was in good hands at the hospital (nurses were great and the food wasn’t half bad) but nothing beats the comfort and familiarity of your own home as well as being able to take a shower (thank God for waterproof bandages).  I have been home since Thursday night around 7p and have been taking it real easy resting.  Me being the busy body I am, I am already getting bored and antsy so these next couple weeks are going to be long ones.

My surgery went well – it was shorter than expected, four hours instead of five.  There was no cancer found on the left side.  Praise Jesus!!  My surgeon took out three nodes under my left arm and all three were negative.  We are still waiting on pathology for my right side – the side I originally had cancer.  I should get the results on Thursday when I meet with my oncologist.  I could go to the hospital and request a copy of the report which I just may do in the next few days.  I am not too worried because I am sure the chemo took care of the cancer and the breast tissue has been removed from my body.  However it will be reassuring knowing I didn’t go through chemo for nothing. 

The tissue expanders were put in because unfortunately there wasn’t enough skin left over after performing the mastectomy.  I was disappointed at first but am glad my surgeons made the safe and healthy decision.  My next surgery will be strictly reconstruction involving my plastic surgeon taking out the expanders and putting in the implants.  It is a less invasive surgery and it is outpatient.  I have a follow up appt with him on Tuesday so I will get a better idea of when I can expect to have that surgery.

I am pretty sore which is to be expected but overall I am doing well.  The pain is tolerable which I take extra strength Tylenol to help ease.  I think the worst part is I have not two but four surgical drainage devices (Jackson Pratt is the medical term) attached to my body (and they are not small).  I had one with my last surgery so I was expecting two this time since they had operated on both sides so I was quite surprised (and not happily) when I saw four attached to me.  I am not sure why Dr. Camberos attached four to me – I am anxious to ask him when I see him Tuesday.  I will spare you the unpleasant details of what these devices do and what I have to do to maintain them, I am sure you get the point by what they are. J  Usually you have to wear these devices for approx two weeks so my optimistic side is thinking “Well I have four instead of two so maybe I only have to wear them for a week instead of two weeks”  I may be dreaming – we shall see……  The challenging part is trying to hide these under my clothes.  Hiding one or even two under baggy clothes isn’t too hard but trying to hide four is impossible.  I look like I put on a few pounds and have a lumpy stomach. J

Thank you for all your love, prayer, support, words of encouragement, sweet cards and beautiful flowers.  I am so blessed to have such amazing family and friends who uplift me and encourage me the way you all do.  It makes this difficult journey that much easier.  I am getting teary eyed as I type this reflecting of how blessed I truly am.  God has been so faithful in answering your prayers as well as mine and I know He will continue to heal me and take care of me.  I thank Him daily for being my healer, protector and shelter from this storm I am in.  I do have my times of sadness, frustration, and impatience but in those times I turn to my Jesus for strength, courage and hope to help me endure this journey.

Love and Blessings,

 Kelly~

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, His my refuge and my fortress, My God in whom I trust”

Psalm 91:1 & 2

Well tomorrow is the big day and I am beyond ready.  Since I can’t eat breakfast or drink coffee in the morning, my sweet hubby took me to Denny’s tonight so I could have breakfast for dinner and have my cup of joe (thus the reason I am still up at this hour – I can just sleep tomorrowJ).  Luckily we have to be at the hospital at 5:30 (did I say luckily??) and surgery is at 7:30 so I won’t have to go too long wishing I had my morning cup of coffee. 

The girls in the pool at the timeshare we stayed at in Vegas

Me and my big girl at the bowling alley

As I have shared with some friends and family, I am anxious to have the surgery but am also anxious to get it done (if that makes any sense).  Looking back I am so glad I did not have the surgery last month as I initially thought.  The last few weeks have been awesome – spending quality time with my girls and hubby, having fun making memories, and enjoying some R &R.  Recovering from surgery would have thrown a huge wrench in the fun we had.  We spent a week in Vegas and a week at the Harbor in Oceanside.  Good times and fun memories were made.  In Vegas we swam, visited the M & M factory, went to Gameworks, ate at the Rainforest café as well as saw a comedy/magic show with a friend and his daughter, saw a mermaid show, visited Mt. Charleston where we went hiking with some friends (it was 30 degrees cooler than Vegas – a nice change for a day), went bowling a few times and of course did a little gambling which involved Shawn playing craps with Steve and me playing slots.  We didn’t bet much and didn’t win much either, but that is okay since its more entertainment then anything with us.  The Harbor was a blast too with hanging at the beach and swimming at the pool at the condo we stayed at (thanks to my lovely in-laws).  We also celebrated Karyssa’s 6^th birthday there with family and friends – such a fun time!

At the Lodge in Mt Charleston

Waiting for the Mac King Magic Show to begin

My hair continues to grow – yeah!  It’s simply marvelous to see hair on my head again even though it’s much darker than I had anticipated.  Oh well, nothing that a box of hair color can’t change in time.  What was crazy is that I lost my eyebrows and the last of my eyelashes after I was done with chemo and they are finally growing back as well.  I couldn’t believe how fast my eyelashes grew back.  I only had to go a week without any eyelashes and now I have lashes all the way across on both lids.  My bottom lashes are much longer than my top so hopefully my top with catch up and then some.  Thinking about my hair loss and re-growth adventure I came up with some observations and thoughts on the whole ordeal:

©       Losing my hair and watching its slow re-growth makes me appreciate “bed head” which I had for the first time (in a long time) the other morning

©       I have never been so happy to see my cowlick

©       My natural hair color is revealed after “hiding” for the past 11 years

©       For the second time in my life I have non-treated, non-colored baby soft hair that I can’t stop touching (Shawn will ask me why I keep rubbing my head and I just tell him I love the way my hair feels as well as its soothing to touch it – I know I am strange)

©       Being bald you get to see the true shape of your head and mine is not pretty with a flat part in the back followed by two bumps.  Thank God my hair is long enough now to cover all that!

©       One word – sideburns

In about three weeks my mom and my girls will be heading up to Forest Home in the San Bernardino Mountains for the annual Mother Daughter retreat.  My mom and I have been going to this since I was a little girl.  What is really cool and special about this year’s retreat is that one of the speakers has been on her own personal breast cancer journey.  How awesome is that!?  Just another example of how God works in our lives and gives us little blessings for us to enjoy. 

Fun at the M & M factory

Of course we had to get a pic of the dads

Regarding the reconstructive portion of my surgery, there is a chance that Dr. Camberos my plastic surgeon may be able to do immediate reconstruction and put the implants in tomorrow at time of surgery.  If that happen then I would not have to deal with the expanders, having them filled over time and them going back for an additional surgery to have the implants put in.  It all depends on how my skin looks and if there is enough of it.  Dr. Camberos said if my skin looks healthy and there is enough skin left he will put in the implants and call it a day.  Okay not his exact words, but you know what I am saying.  Please pray that he will make the best decision tomorrow in the operating room.

Celebrating Shawn's bday at the Rainforest Cafe. 

"Happy Birthday to you!"

Prayer is powerful!  This past Friday I was not doing so hot.  I had body aches, chills, slight fever, sore throat and glands the size of golf balls.  My first thought was, “No we can NOT delay surgery.  I have to get better by the end of the weekend.  I really really want to have surgery on Wednesday”.  I asked for prayer and by the end of the weekend I was 100% better.  Thank you Jesus and to all of you that lifted me up in prayer!

Me and my fabulous hubby!!

Celebrating Karyssa's bday

I would be lying to you if I said I wasn’t nervous about tomorrow but at the same time I rest in peace in my Heavenly Father’s loving and healing arms.  Just this morning my mom sent me the below email she had received from a dear friend.  It ministered to me and encouraged me – just what I needed as I reflected on what was to come.  I see myself as one of those little birds being protected and safe under my Father’s wings. 

No idea who caught this shot, but one thing for sure they were at the right place at the right time

Reminds me of Psalm 91:4, He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

The photographer caught this special moment, what a privilege to see

If all goes well I should only have to stay in the hospital for one night.  I have confidence in Jesus that He will be in that operating room with my surgeons watching over me.  He is so faithful in taking care of me and healing me which fills me with such comfort and peace.  Your prayers and encouragement continues to bless and uplift me – thank you!!! 

Resting in Him,

Kelly